Now, the prefix on this recipe is "15 Minute Magic." Let me tell you, if the process is supposed to be magical, this is not the kind of magic I'm interested in. Supposedly, it takes 15 minutes to whip this thing together in a food processor. Reasons why it didn't take this little time for me? Let me count the ways...
1. Had to make my own amaretti cookies. 20 min bake, 20 min rest in oven, 10 min cool. Taste really awesome though.
2. Had to melt chocolate in double boiler. Realized this after I'd ground the amaretti and almonds, and whipped together the butter, sugar, and eggs. Swore a bit. Melted and let cool. 10 min melt, 10 min cool.
3. While food processing said amaretti and almonds, burnt out motor on PITA mini-prep food processor. More swearing. Figure the chunks of almond will provide "textural contrast." Dump food processor in the trash.
4. Use blender for mixing together batter. Does not mix anything above the bottom one inch of batter. More swearing, this time under my breath so the boyfriend doesn't think I'm mad at him.
5. Yank out spatula and mix batter up inside blender. Get hand and wrist covered in batter. Mutter more swear words.
6. Dump batter in un-parchment-lined cake pan because I ran out of parchment paper yesterday. Cross fingers that it won't stick, but figure it's a goner. Don't really care because I'm too busy trying to scrape batter out from under the itty bitty blades at the bottom of the food processor.
7. Grumble as I wash all the myriad appliances, bowls, and spoons that it took to make some "magic."
8. Swear more under my breath when I realize it won't come out of the pan. Stupid parchment paper-less apartment. Cross fingers (again!) that slices will come out neatly at least.
*sigh*
may I just say - I totally want a reason to need to mix up 5# of brioche doughLuckily, it smelled absolutely wonderful in the oven. If it hadn't, I might have hurt someone. Or just written nasty messages in Dorie's book to remind myself never to make this again. As it is, I think I'll just stick with a hand mixer next time around - there will probably be less swearing involved.
P.S. I realized how much more I swear now that I spend all my time in a plant. While at a meeting at our corporate offices, I had to stop myself a couple words into multiple sentences in a row before just giving up and not saying anything until I could get my "office filter" in place on my vocabulary. That filter? Yeah, it doesn't really work at home.
and how did that get in there? oh those blue eyes, they get me every time...Last Week: Banana Cream Pie
Next Week: Four Star Chocolate Bread Pudding
50 comments:
Yikes! I'm sorry for all your troubles. Your cake does look delicious though!
I think you did great! I would have stopped on #3. As it was, I'm sidelined this week and didn't make it, but I'll be sure to check the supplies before I do!
Ha ha! I am sorry, but you really had me laughing. I can't believe that you went through with it. It took me longer than 15 minutes even with the Magic food processor.
Thanks for the humor!
I'm so sorry for you ! There are days when I feel so angry at everything !!I hope the cake was good enough to heal you !
I m nsorry you had so much trouble with this cake. But let me say it looks delicious :) I think almond and chocolate are so good !
Owwww... Poor you! Well, at least the cake looks great! I love that plate by the way!
LMAO! Sorry for all of your mishaps, but honestly, it sounds like me almost every week making TWD recipes. This week actually WORKED as did the Banana Cream Pie. But I've already tried and failed with the bread pudding. :-P
YIKES!!! It's good to know that it tastes great without the glaze! And your torte looks yummy even though it gave you such a hard time!
love those blue eyes...and chocolate cake. I'm still hoping to fit this in later in the week...maybe I'll do it when no one else is around in case I need to swear too!
I swear a lot too, so I can completely relate! I love your plate and your torte looks great too!
Sounds like it was a total comedy of errors for you this week! Bummer about your mini prep....I made the dough in mine as well. I wish I'd skipped the ganache like you because it definitely made this too rich for me.
Wow - you really had a hard time of it girl. The blender is the same for me - doesn't get that last bit in the bottom. But your cake looks fabuloso!!
as good as that dessert looks, I cant stop staring at that plate... wow!
AG!!!!! I feel so bad for laughing at what seemed like a stressful time baking, but your post is hysterical! The torte looks great!
Oh I feel exhausted just reading your steps!! I would have bailed... ha! Way to power thru... looks great!
Sorry you had such trouble.
Maybe your sweetie will purchase you some much needed new appliances?
Ugh what a pain in the arse for you!
Bummer that you had such a difficult time with this. I think my mini prep has a burned out motor now that I have read your post. I keep trying it thinking it is going to start back up. Guess it better go in the trash.
LOL! Sorry you had such troubles but you are too funny. I'm glad you got the "magic" to work for you.
You did a fabulous job Caitlin, it really looks perfect to me.
Sorry that you feel that way tough.
Cheers,
elra
Oh no. See, that would have had me cussing like a sailor in the best of circumstances, but to have it happen when you are in "15 minute magic" mode would be all the more infuriating. Glad you liked it in the end though. It looks delicious!
Wow, that's a lot of frustration for one cake! I know I've gotten completely spoiled about things like having parchment paper around. I was able to buy the amaretti; now I just have to actually bake the torte. =)
Oh, and Jamie got The Professional Pastry Chef for me a while back, but I haven't really read through it yet. 5 pounds of brioche, huh?
Oh, Poor Caitlin. This just wasn't your recipe. But what you ended up with looks just right.
Make your self feel better - go get a new processor....
I was wondering what exactly was 15 minutes about this one too. You are right, the great smell and flavour did redeem Dorie on this one. Looks yummy!
Yeah, the 15-minute was definitely off. Maybe for a pro like Dorie it's true, but not for a regular like me.
Wow, you had an adventure making the torte (extreme understatement). At least it tasted good!
Oh no! I think I might have given up! :) But confession time: I didn't use a food processor or a blender. I whirled the cookies and almonds in the mini-prep and then just used a hand mixer for the batter. And I never use a double boiler for melting chocolate - I think it's a huge waste of 2 pots. I just pop it in the microwave for 30 secs, stir, another 20 secs or so and ... voila ... melted chocolate.
Oh, wow...what a time you had! I'm very glad to see that you enjoyed it, though.
Now, let me tell you:
If this is somebody's idea of "15 Minute Magic." Let me tell you, if the process is supposed to be magical, this is not the kind of magic I'm interested in.
What a great opening for this one! No doubt when you've gone to pastry school and melted chocolate in a double boiler for years, you don't think of a simple microwave to melt chocolate . . . perhaps you and I haven't done that 20,000 million times so that we can do it in a flash with 10 other steps . . . you think . . .
Any magic I get normally takes incredible effort and many hours not 15 minutes.
Wish I had a slice of your torte . . .
Your story was so well told, and I really got a good chuckle. Sorry it was such a PITA, but thanks for re-telling it so we could all enjoy it.
You persevered through all the aggravations and your chocky torte looks lovely.
I've had days like this...actually not too long ago and I had chocolate frosting from one end of my kitchen to the other. I don't know how I did it.
Your torte turned out looking great!
Well, it looks perfectly lovely just the way it is. And, it owes you big time. What an adventure this week...it's a good thing you don't give up easily. The final effort looks well worth it all...and so impressed you made your own cookies...wow.
If I tell you I thought your post was funny, will you swear at me? Yeah, the 15 minute thing was kind of an odd gimmick w/this cake. It was 2.5 hrs for me from getting ingred.s out of fridge to taking a photo. And that was with a few shortcuts. The cake was good though, and I just might make it again. I had a mini-prep for years - just got my first full size fp this year.
Nancy
Kudos for persevering! I'm glad it tasted good after all that :)
Ha ha, i'm sorry to laugh. My food processor broke midway too.
After all that, i'm glad you enjoyed it :)
This sounds like my baking troubles from this weekend. Only difference is that I didn't end up with a wonderful dessert like you did.
Ha ha - I think I would have thrown in the towel much sooner than you did. But at least you liked the cake - no one liked it at my house!
Am always suspicious of *magic* recipes. Dorie is usually foolproof, but the good news is that it looks great and smelled great and maybe even was worth the swear words?
Despite all your troubles it still looks fantastic. I am wishing now that I had made this!
I swear often, too. Some days I do better than others! It is the oil field still in me! I think your torte looks good considering the obstacles! We know you are kick@$$!
eek! sounds like a royal PITA...hope it tasted good, at least.
But you made homemade amaretti cookies! That's cool! Too bad about all the trouble. Hope you liked it after all that!
I've had many baking days like that, but this one wasn't one of them. I really did get this into the oven in 15 minutes (if you don't count baking the amaretti), and everything worked just as it was supposed to. I'm sorry you had so many problems, but it certainly made for an amusing post for your many fans!
15 minutes to make, but 1 hour of cleaning up? Tsk tsk. False advertising.
Wow, quite the torte for you. I did a few of those little things, too. Made homemade cookies, didn't read the instructions, so my chocolate wasn't melted and cooled on time, etc. I tell myself every week I'll read the entire recipe first, but somehow I seem to always miss something!
Way to preservere.
Well, that was some ordeal you had. I can understand why you didn't do the ganache or whipped cream, but they are both worth it. This turned out to be one of my favorites.
We should meet and talk sometime. After my time at the restaurant and culinary school, my vocabulary changed toward the more colorful. Now, I have to watch myself in polite company. :)
Sorry for all the trouble, I have so had baking days like this. And you start to think, this is supposed to be fun and not a failure fest right? Anyway, it looks great and I love your black and white plate btw.
yikes :( sorry you had all those problems for a supposedly magic cake... i guess the magic is really not there if the food processor isn't there either :-/ the cake looks great though!
LOL - sorry to hear about all of those issues. I know just what you mean, and I have to say that depending on the day and my state of mind, I use some pretty strong language in the kitchen. Your finished cake looks marvellous, and I love your plate.
Even though this took you more than 15 minutes, it certainly looks worth the time. I mean, talk about chocolatey and delicious. I'm a fan!!
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